I have joined the pizza delivery driver illuminati

"D" (danjee)
06/26/2014 at 00:10 • Filed to: None

An admirable profession. I have to use my own car, which I was trying to avoid. However, I have started putting the pizza bag in the trunk to keep the stench under control, and the restaurant pays me $0.56 per mile for gas/wear/tear... which ends up being about $15 for every gallon I consume. So not that bad in the end; also, it's only for 10 weeks so all in all, I don't feel like I'm tossing a cherry Miata in the trash. The job's about to get better too, because on July 1st, CA minimum wage jumps from $8 to $9. I'm raking in green.

Also I'd like to recommend this job to other young Jalops because it's a huuuge resumé builder. Only five days completed so far and I've already pushed myself a lot. I can think of a hundred useful skills I've gained that makes me a drastically more marketable human.

I've clearly been busy and haven't been on Oppo a lot, so here's a few other things that have been going on:

- I finished putting the new bumper cover on my car (which you can see in the picture). Overall looks great, only problem is that the hood/bumper aren't perfectly flush.. Can you really expect two 20+ year old things to line up..

- My friend sold his '02 Civic and scooped up a very nice '91 hatch, also seen in the picture. Manual transmission, steering, windows, mirrors.... and fuel injection! I've driven it, it's an absolute hoot

- I visited Davis earlier this summer and felt fucking swell about it. I think I want to transfer there

- A friend gave me a copy of Illustrator CS5 and I hope to learn the basics.. because graphics are too neat to just be a spectator

DISCUSSION (40)

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > D
06/26/2014 at 00:17

Pizza delivery is the best shitty job there is, I have been there and it was pretty fun.

shop-teacher > D
06/26/2014 at 00:17

Delivering pizza is an excellent high school/college job. I'm insanely jealous that you're getting paid mileage. When I was delivering ('97-'03) I got paid $2/hr, cash, plus tips/delivery fees. Still made good scratch for a kid though.

You're about to get really good at figuring out address systems, and finding alternative routes.

Damnit, now I want pizza!

D > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast.
06/26/2014 at 00:19

Fun it certainly is. I made a delivery to house of a young teenagers and they paid almost exclusively in $1's and quarters

D > shop-teacher
06/26/2014 at 00:20

This is a great city to deliver in because just about everything stems off of two main roads. I haven't made more than three turns to get to a house yet

shop-teacher > D
06/26/2014 at 00:34

We had a regular who always paid in $2 bills. She was also drunk, very drunk, all the time.

midengineer > D
06/26/2014 at 00:36

Minimum wage in California is going to be $9/hr. Wut?

D > midengineer
06/26/2014 at 00:37

yee

edit: and on July 1st, 2016 it goes to $10

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > D
06/26/2014 at 00:46

So you can give us an impartial answer: when we order delivery pizza, we tip at least 20% of the bill...what's the general rule? What makes for a happy driver?

desertdog5051 > D
06/26/2014 at 00:47

So who gets that $2 delivery fee they charge?

SVTyler > NotUnlessRoundIsFunny
06/26/2014 at 01:05

As someone who's been delivering for three years I'd say 20% is a great percentage. Normally we'd like to see a $4 average or better at the end of the night on top of the money we spend on gas (though my place is a bit unusual in that we don't get reimbursed for mileage) so you're right on the money.

D > NotUnlessRoundIsFunny
06/26/2014 at 01:06

I've heard of the 20% rule with waiters but wasn't sure whether it applied to drivers or not. Regardless, most people give $3-5 which is more than enough to keep me happy. The only thing that is a letdown is no tip, but I'm still new and will probably grow crankier as the job progresses. I got a $7 tip once for delivering something like three pizzas to one house, that was nice.

If a rule is what you're looking for, I'd say four bucks is solid bet (which turns out to be 20% of a $20 pizza I suppose)

D > desertdog5051
06/26/2014 at 01:08

I'm not sure... I haven't gotten a paycheck yet so I don't know if it goes to me or not. I shall however guess that it does not go to me.

SVTyler > desertdog5051
06/26/2014 at 01:11

It goes entirely to the owner or general revenue of the business, the drivers don't see a single cent of it. Well, some places use that amount to subsidize their mileage/gas reimbursement program, though, so if you really wanted to argue some of it technically goes to the driver, but never anywhere near the majority of it.

SVTyler > D
06/26/2014 at 01:23

Welcome to the club! I've been delivering for the past three years and it's honestly the best part-time job a car guy can have; there's nothing better than getting paid to drive your car. Sounds like you're at a great place too, we get no mileage reimbursement and only make minimum wage, though I am in Indiana so it's a bit cheaper than California. If you're concerned about the smell I've noticed keeping the windows cracked at night and cleaning the interior every month or so seems to keep it away. Just washing the carpets alone makes a huge difference, and you can do that in your clothes washer and dryer.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > D
06/26/2014 at 01:32

You sir need have started working in the best field I've ever worked in. Also you buddy has the ultimate pizza delivery vehicle . I know, my 91 Civic did delivery duty for about 7 months before I got too many tickets and had to start working inside. Also give me your buddies phone number so I can harass him every day until he sells me his new old civic.

Kinja'd!!!

But seriously for a car guy that loves his car, delivering Pizza is the best job ever.

You get to spend 8 hours a day DRIVING. you get to work, and THEN LEAVE. You're off to you delivery. You play this game in you're head, trying to plan the best route to get to the address/addresses, and back as quickly as possible(within the bounds of the LAW of coarse). You spend the whole time basically being your own boss, getting tips, the small ones just make the big ones feel even better, and you get to blast what ever music you want as you drive around the city IN YOUR CAR! Most of us would do this for free!Plus you go home with a free pizza to feed you and your room mates/family, and a wad of cash in you pocket, or at least I did.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > D
06/26/2014 at 01:34

sounds boring.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > desertdog5051
06/26/2014 at 01:36

for me when I work at Dominos it was 1.50 charge and it kinda went to Dominos. it was to cover per mile they pay the driver.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > NotUnlessRoundIsFunny
06/26/2014 at 01:37

for me anything over 3.50 put a smile on my face. anything over 5 was a HECK YES! moment.

D > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
06/26/2014 at 02:04

It's pretty tempting to give you his number so that you can Civic-harass him, haha.

I've been working mornings so far (and probably will continue to) so I only 2-4 deliveries during my 5-hour shift, but tomorrow I'm trying out the 4-9pm shift and will probably find myself a lot busier!

It's true, the autonomy is one of the best parts of this job. As is the repeated thrill of driving away from work—that never gets old.

D > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
06/26/2014 at 02:07

I'll probably view it as drab in a few weeks, but as a beginner, I like that it's manageable. Here's the area if your curious: https://www.google.com/maps/place/Sco…

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > D
06/26/2014 at 02:08

That a bummer. The days when I was non stop in and out were the best.

D > SVTyler
06/26/2014 at 02:11

There's very little passage between an NA's trunk and interior so I barely notice the smell as is. What's nice about keeping the pizza in the car's ass is that I can roll down windows, AC it, or do whatever to cool myself, all while the pizza sits in the fiery inferno that is my trunk.

D > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
06/26/2014 at 02:14

Well, I'm surprised that even 2-4 people get pizzas delivered in the afternoon. I had one at 11 am this morning, wtf.

I'd like to have more deliveries but the advantage of working earlier is that I have truly the best hours in the world, like seriously, this is exactly what I would choose if given the choice. 11a-4p.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > D
06/26/2014 at 02:20

This is the town I delivered in. It's so stoopidly laid out. between the lakes, the railroad, and the rivers the whole town is just messed up. But that made it even more fun. Also our store delivered to a 10-12 mile radius.

https://www.google.com/maps/place/Dom…

D > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
06/26/2014 at 02:27

very nice.

My first delivery was stoopidly memorable because there's a Round Table in Scott's Valley (me) and there's a Round Table in nearby Felton. The guy who called in lived much closer to the Felton restaurant but ordered from us instead...

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > D
06/26/2014 at 02:40

Well, we want to be the house the driver is happy to deliver to...and show our appreciation for them being timely, polite, etc. Plus we're working stiffs ourselves, so you know, good karma and all that.

Geez I sound old. :-)

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > D
06/26/2014 at 02:41

I have been to that very Round Table! :-)

D > NotUnlessRoundIsFunny
06/26/2014 at 02:54

Haha, hell yeah! Where in the bay area are you, if I may ask?

Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen > D
06/26/2014 at 02:56

You, Sir, are The Deliverator .

Now they just need to give you the car.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > D
06/26/2014 at 03:12

nice. I once had some one order from 130 miles away. They were staying at a Quality Inn hotel the internet gave them the wrong number. I got to our Quality Inn went to the room number, and no one was there. I called the guy and eventually figured out that he was in Escanaba Mi, and I gave him the number for the store there. The good news was he ordered a pizza with toppings I liked.

D > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
06/26/2014 at 03:53

wowza!

E92M3 > D
06/26/2014 at 08:41

Just wait till the drunk milf invites you in one night! "I'm sorry to bother you but my husband is traveling for business, could you help me replace this light bulb that just burned out". Ugh I suppose... "Oh Thank You! it's in the bedroom and I just can't reach it"

You'll remember her address. For the next year you'll look at every receipt with excitement to see if she's placed another delivery.

desertdog5051 > SVTyler
06/26/2014 at 12:12

Kinda what i was figuring. So I still tip the 20%.

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > D
06/26/2014 at 16:27

Right over the hill in the south bay!

D > NotUnlessRoundIsFunny
06/26/2014 at 22:26

ah f'sho! What do you drive, I've probably seen you

Reborn Pyrrhic > D
06/27/2014 at 01:45

Pizza delivery can be a great money maker. A buddy delivered pizza for six years straight, through college and two years afterward. He was beat up twice for the pizza money, went to the hospital with a broken nose, but went right back out there delivering Italian pies as the money was good.

He once delivered to a slumber party where two girls came to the door in nothing but panties and bras. There were more girls in several states of undress inside the house. None of them looked older than sixteen and there seemed to be no parents inside. Temptation was huge. He made two deliveries to the house that night...

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > D
06/27/2014 at 01:50

I drive a black NSX with an Oppo sticker. :-)

D > NotUnlessRoundIsFunny
06/27/2014 at 02:01

Oh wow! Awesome. Don't think I've seen it though. I don't spend too much time in the bay but I'm in the hills on Friday nights and the occasional weekend.

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > D
06/27/2014 at 02:06

Well, say hi when you see me! We'll probably run into each other at some Oppo get-together around here.

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > D
06/27/2014 at 03:17

"I have joined the pizza delivery driver illuminati"

Isn't the pyramid an Illuminati symbol? And each pyramid looks like a slice of pizza from the side...

Wheels within wheels, my friend. Wheels within wheels. :-)